First day back after the break...

We are supposed to send a baby picture of Jonathan to school tomorrow. My printer is not working well so I grabbed one out of his scrapbook. I took a moment to look at the pictures from when he was born and could not help but cry. We looked so shellshocked in the pictures and there was little Jono. He was hooked up to an oxygen saturation machine, had a canula in his nose, and had to stay under lights because he had jaundice. Rarely does much time pass when I don't relive that time. As the years have passed, it has become bittersweet. I am ashamed of how I felt yet so grateful he is here. I saw Jonathan's diagnosis as such an imposition and so unfair. I remember screaming under my breath at the Lord and shaking my fist at Him. I was furious after all "I had done for Him" that He would allow this to happen to our child. It is neat how God has worked in our hearts and how He continues to show up and work through us because we cannot do this on our own.

I see now how Jonathan didn't ask for his diagnosis and, frankly, didn't ask for us to be his parents. He is so much more patient than I am in is challenges and far more determined. He drives us nuts with his antics, but I realize without the DS, he would have been our wild kid anyway.:) Oh, how I love him. I wish I could go back in time and visit myself to share that with me (that sounds weird but you get it, right?). 

This morning was the first day back to school. Jackson was excited but sad to see his break gone. Jonathan did not want to go. Jamie took him and I saw Jono signing, "Mama" through the window with tears rolling down his cheeks. I could not help but cry. Joel hung out and destroyed things while I attempted to clean and do laundry. He and I also played. I set up a new Geotrack configuration and he sat on it. Thanks.

Before the boys left, Jamie prayed over them, asking God to give them self-control. I also spoke to Jonathan about using the potty. I reminded him not to go in his pull up but in the potty. His teacher said he had a really good day and I was so relieved. Upon our return home, we took his pants off to continue his training. He received instructions not to soil furniture or rugs and promptly pooped in his potty. Later, with his pull up on, he went in his pants. I am not sure how to get him to make the change. Practice, I suppose. Prayer as well! 

As I was cleaning up the kitchen tonight, I watched a little of the show "Parenthood." Each of the extended family was dealing with issues. One couple told their daughter about heaven so the child could reconcile her bird's death. Another set of parents met their daughter's boyfriend. He was of a different race, had not finished high school, lived on his own, was a recovering alcoholic, and yet was so impressive with how well he was doing considering all he had been through. Still, her parents felt uncomfortable with her dating him since she was only sixteen years old and forbade it. Of course, she saw him behind their backs. I watched these stories and realized that one day I may be wishing that my biggest problems are cleaning the eternally ransacked house, potty training, and not getting sleep. Lord, prepare me for what lies ahead!

Julie

thejuliewarren@gmail.com