Two months later...

As you can tell, I am not good at staying up with this. I blog all the time in my head but what prevents me from doing so is the picture part. I hate uploading pictures because it takes so long. Perhaps if I didn't wait so long and didn't accumulate so many photos, blogging would not daunt me so! Jamie got me a new computer a few weeks ago and I can store photos on it much more easily. I am hoping this will ease my blogging anxiety as well. I don't know if anyone even reads this anymore, but when I update it, it is good for my soul.


Additionally, to be honest, our dealings with Jonathan in the last months have been trying. Often, people in early intervention circles refer new parents of kids with DS (and often heart issues as well) to our blog and I don't want to scare them with what we are going through with Jonathan.



At first, the blog was designed to direct people to our story so we didn't have to retell it so many times. Then, as we assimilated to our life with both boys, it became a narrative of our lives. Once Jonathan turned 18 months or so, he turned up the volume with food, aggression, and his impulsivities. Trying to share by way of blog was difficult.


All that to say, the perfectionist in me hates not keeping up with this better. The perfectionist in my keeps me from doing it unless I can do it well. Tonight, I am saying "Good-bye" to the perfectionist and "Hello" to the blog and our remaining readers. I won't post pictures tonight but I will soon...


My last post was July 21. I am going to pick up from there and bore you with the fascinating details of our lives...


In June and July, Jonathan was able to attend school twelve days (two weeks in each month for three days each time). Since he had made so much progress during the school year and his teachers felt he would regress, he was able to come. It was nice to have him staying in a routine with teachers that knew him and I used that time to do things with Jackson and Joel. 
Jackson went to VBS at a local church with a friend and had fun. However, if left to his own devices, Jackson would stay home, play the Wii, create with Legos, draw, watch TV, eat snacks, ride his bike or scooter, etc. He loves to be at home. I made the mistake of signing him up for baseball camp, basketball camp, VBS, art camp (it sounds like a lot now that I list it out). But, with our current dynamic, I was fearful I could not give him the attention he needed and it would be boring at home. Next summer, we will go for less activities.


Suzanne and Bill Cook let us come over anytime we wanted to use their pool. Many thanks to them because without that, my kids would have been super white.:) It was nice to come, cool off for a little while, and keep them from missing out on swimming. I could have taken them to our pool alone, but it would have been incredibly stressful. Often, I will pick the hardest option to show I am tough and I am learning to let that go. I am not sure why I ever started doing that or who I tried to impress, but I am sick of it! I had to admit that we would not have fun at our own pool and needed an alternative. The Cooks graciously provided that for us.


I think I mentioned that we started Jonathan on ritalin in May. Succumbing to that made me feel like a failure as a parent. However, it has been the best thing we have ever done for Jonathan. I thought since he would be home all summer we would just use it for Sunday School. However, his behavioral psychologist made a good point. He said that his whole life is a learning experience and why not give it to him if it would enable him to have better social experiences, concentrate on daily activities, etc.? I was thrilled to hear that and was so thankful for the advice. Being at home with all three boys was wild, but having Jono on his meds consistently allowed him to have more fun, too.


We went to the beach with the Warrens and Voelkerts at the end of July. It was hard to wait for that all summer, but was so good. The water was not oil-infused although Jamie met an environmentalist on the beach who pointed out tar balls. After Jamie saw those, he was not keen on the boys swimming in it, especially since we could not trust Jono to keep from swallowing them.:)


We got back from the beach with one week to go before school. Jackson did a basketball camp and had fun. As long as these camps incorporate a break and food, Jack does just fine. He still wanted to stay home because he thought we were having a good time without him. 
Jackson started second grade this year, Jono is in his second year of preschool in the public school system as well, and Joel is at home with me. I didn't get him signed up in time. Frankly, I really didn't feel comfortable signing him up and I am glad I didn't. He is teething like crazy and irritable. I would rather have Joel at home instead of dealing with the mental battle of sending him since he is not sick technically (but in pain because he is teething) and because I paid for Mothers' Morning Out versus doing what is best for him.


Jackson had a few weeks where he adjusted to the rules. He missed his first grade teacher (and kindergarten teacher). This year is much more intense and requires him to be responsible (which we are learning is not a easy for him). He loves to talk and cut up and has had to manage that better. He also is learning not just to be quiet but to listen. We have discovered he has difficulty following directions because he wants to finish quickly or he simply doesn't want to read the directions. 


Jack continues to be a very patient brother. He is sweet with Joel and we ask him often not to pick his little brother up. Jono can drive him crazy but he is patient with him as well. Just tonight, Jack took off his shirt at bedtime because he was hot. Jono jumped in bed with Jack to snuggle and what do you know? No shirt.:) Jonathan wants to be just like his big brother.
Jonathan and Joel bicker but they are also beginning to get along. Jonathan still loves the games of one-year-olds (peek-a-boo), much to Joel's delight. They share food and drinks much to my chagrin and despite my vigilance. 


Slowly but surely, Jonathan is starting to speak. We often understand him when others don't. He is putting three and four words together ("More popcorn, please."). The meds are helping him to calm down so he can concentrate and learn. This, in turn, is affecting his speech. 
I have been reading a book called A Praying Life by Paul Miller. My sister gave it to me at Christmas and I read it. I am going through it for a second time with a friend. A few weeks ago, I reread a chapter about how Christ was the most dependent human being. He did everything in conjunction with the Father. The question was, if Christ could do nothing on His own, why do I think I can? 


After reading that, Jamie and I have begun to earnestly pray for our boys. I have prayed for Jono's speech (each muscle, his brain would work with his muscles, his desire to speak) but now I am realizing that no amount of work on any of our parts will get Jono to speak. God can do it. We need to do our part, but ultimately, it cannot happen without the Lord. 


I also knew that often I would get tied up in knots over Jonathan - his behavior at church or at school, his behavior in public, mouthing everything metal at home, getting out of the house, unwilling to potty train, etc. I have begun to pray for my attitude toward him and I must say that I have truly begun to enjoy him on a regular basis - not just here and there. It used to be that I would look around and wish for the typical family everyone around me seems to have. But, I realized in doing that, I was wishing away my child. Jonathan is precious to me and I love him dearly. I began praying for a double portion of wisdom, for Jono to have self-control at school, for him to desire to use the toilet (which he can all day long but doesn't want to), etc. I have found such peace in letting go my goals and desires and replacing them with the 
knowledge that I simply cannot do it alone. 


Currently, Joel is teething. All three of our boys have had a tough time teething. Joel's gums are swollen and he has been hot with fever for a few days now. He is more sensitive and reactive, but otherwise, just his normal self. We think he has a bit of a temper. Once his teeth are in and he isn't hurting, we will have a better idea of who this guy is. 


Joel loves to go outside no matter the temperature. We spent three and a half hours outside the other day and he loved it. He played in our car, in the yard, and in the driveway. He is so funny - he has his own language and will approach us muttering/mumbling something as if it makes perfect sense. Then he just walks away. Very funny!


Finally, Jamie and I were able to get away a few weeks ago for four days and it was wonderful - better than our honeymoon. I think I would recommend waiting to take your honeymoon until after you have kids - you just don't appreciate sleeping in, eating without screaming and constant demands, laying out, and having no schedule until you have had kids. While we missed them, we enjoyed sleeping!!!


I will head to bed now with the promise of pictures soon!
Julie:)
thejuliewarren@gmail.com