July's Account Thus Far

At the end of June, Emily and the cousins arrived. They stayed until after Em's birthday (the fourth). We spent some part of each day with them. The cousins swam, went to McWane Center, ate meals together, and went to the zoo. It was a lot of fun and nice for the boys to have something to do each day.

Jonathan got strep the weekend of the fourth. Jonathan is often sick and at inconvenient times. We were disappointed. While he was contagious we took turns staying home with him and sending the rest of the family to hang with the cousins and grandparents. On Saturday I thought I might have strep so I went to the Doc in the Box and got a prescription. I have already had it twice this year (at the same times Jono has had it) and didn't need it again.


The next week I was on the phone with my mom. I walked into our bedroom and found pills everywhere. Jonathan had climbed onto our toilet, opened the medicine cabinet, and opened pill bottles (supposedly with childproof caps). He threw the contents everywhere. The pills were Tylenol and ibuprofen and I could not figure out if he ingested any and how much. So, Poison Control sent us to Children's where Jamie sat with Jono for five hours. Four of the hours he was monitored. Apparently, ingesting too much Tylenol is lethal but it takes four hours to determine the level in your blood. After four hours, they took blood and then took an hour to return to say he had almost no Tylenol in his system (I had seen one chewed up tablet and that must have been the extent to which he consumed any).


Jackson started Gymnastics Camp with his friend, Brooks, last week and finished this week. He had fun but it was tiring. If Jackson had his way, he would stay home and play in the house, in our yard, and with friends. He is a homebody for sure. This week we have nothing to do but pack for the beach next week. I think Jackson could use some down time so we will probably hit the pool some so we aren't scorched at the beach.


Wednesday we see the behavioral psychologist for Jonathan. We hope to gather up all our research and come up with a plan. Keeping up with the Jonster is exhausting. He enters a room, sniffs it out, and typically locates what he shouldn't within seconds - and I am not kidding. It is uncanny how he can find something you never dreamed and use it as ammunition to destroy a room. It must be a gift - one that we don't yet appreciate but are sure there must be some reason for:)... if not just for our sanctification alone. We hope to soon have answers on how to most effectively discipline, help Jackson respond to Jonathan, and how to eliminate these unwanted behaviors. We shall see...


This week Jonathan figured out that he could drag a chair to the fridge depress the water button, flooding the kitchen. I walked into the kitchen to find water everywhere (we have hardwoods in the kitchen). I felt immediate fury and had to calm down. I called Jamie to "talk me down." These are the kinds of things I don't know how to combat. The therapists say to simply put him in time out and to act as if nothing happened. Dealing with Jonathan's aftermaths seems to be revealing, yet again, sides of myself I would rather not see.


Each week gets better with Joel. I am not too tired and Joel is sleeping through the night most nights. If he feeds frequently throughout the day, that usually bodes well for a good night. I am so thankful that he is an easy baby. I thank God for that!


Please pray for us as we try to figure out the best tactics for parenting. One friend mentioned wanting to parent with her heart and not with her flesh. Please pray the same for me!


Julie
juliewarren73@charter.net






Jonathan enjoyed building a fort with Uncle Ryan over the holiday weekend. Is he praying?

Which one is Jackson and which one is Joel? Both of these were taken when they were five weeks old.

Daddy and Joel.

Joel in Jayne's pajamas.


Daddy made a Shrek Pancake Pie on Saturday.

One night, when we checked on the boys before we went to bed, we found Jonathan in Jack's bed. Sometimes Jonathan can't sleep and will cuddle with Jack to calm down.:)

Joel after his bath. Maybe he will be a future Furman Paladin...

Jackson does not like for Joel to cry and has mastered the art of pacifying his brother.

This is Jamie giving Joel a bath in our kitchen sink - he is too big for the bathroom sink. At this point, it would be too awkward to put him in the tub.

Here is Joel "talking"again. With Jonathan, he learned that one key to developing language is to repeat movements and sounds. So, we are in the habit of doing that and you will hear me repeating his sounds.

June's Report

Before Joel's arrival, I worked very hard to scour the house, finish decorating, and to tie up loose ends. One of those loose ends I was attempting to tie up is Jonathan's behavior. We met with a behaviorist and lined up visits. We have talked to all of Jonathan's therapists extensively, searching for the best approach. Currently, we are working with two therapists at Hand In Hand (where Jonathan attends "school" with therapy two days a week), another speech therapist once a week, and now the behaviorist and her team once a week.



Jonathan does not display terrible behavior but the things he does, we cannot help him stop doing. We are at a complete loss. So, we are praying through this and looking to the "experts" for help because we are at a loss. Our techniques with Jackson don't work and traditional discipline methods do not phase Jonathan. We do not want these behaviors to continue because we want him to blend socially. We think you could explain his behavior with the fact that he is a boy, his age, a new baby (that doesn't explain it before Joel got here), and simply his personality (mischievous). We shall see!



It has been about three weeks since our last update. A lot has transpired. Joel has been sleeping through the night off and on and I am afraid to believe it to be true. Both Jackson and Jonathan were sleeping through the night by six weeks, so I suppose he is simply following his brothers' examples. Joel is very sweet but lets us know when he is wet or dirty (neither Jonathan nor Jackson did this). He loves to be held and tires of the swing and car seat. Currently, he sleeps in his car seat in his bed (worked with the other two). At some point, he will graduate to the mattress.

Jonathan had unexplained pink urine (the doctor's office ran tests and could not figure out what it was) one day this month. He threw up in the morning and then felt completely fine. His urine continued to be pink for about three days and he seemed completely fine. We think he probably ate something, got it out of his system, and it must have dyed his urine. Who knows?

Jackson has taken swim lessons and gone to music camp. He is so good with Jonathan and Joel - what a great big brother! He is excited to start first grade and talks about that a lot.

Jackson swimming at his swim lessons.


Jackson always yelled when he practiced jumping into the deep end. Not sure why, but glad he was not afraid!

Jackson's last day of swim lessons, they had a party!

Both boys enjoyed the cupcakes Miss Cara brought over.:)

Joel's first sponge bath at home (we used the kitchen sink since we had more countertop space). I still had a swollen tummy. Nice...

Jackson loves his baby brother! He loves to hold babies - he cannot get enough of them!

Grammie holding Joel. Grammie was a BIG help while she was here. She spoiled us!

Granny holding Joel - this is her seventh great-grandchild!

Joel taking a snooze.

I had been intending on sending Jackson to a neighbor's house for VBS (ours are in the neighborhoods). I remembered that ours was June 22-26 only when the 22nd came around, I was still thinking it was the week of the 15th! So, when I finally realized I was a week behind, it was Wednesday. Needless to say, Jack made it to VBS but not until Thursday. This picture is of him at the Friday night party. Thanks, Waldens!

The Warren Boys

Daddy was making pancakes and Jackson decided to add all the batter and make "Pancake Pie." Daddy liked it so much he served it again the next Saturday!

Jamie went out with three guy friends to see the Indigo Girls in downtown Birmingham!

Jackson on the slip 'n' slide at Rock the Block (our version of VBS).

Joel decided to talk to us one night...

Joel's Story

Nana and Pops came for the boys as we headed to the hospital. This is a picture of me in between contractions.

Jamie, Julie, and Baby Joel.

The FIVE J's!!!

Proud Big Brother with newest "J."

Ready to go home!!!

Grandpa with Joel.

Jackson did not arrive on time and I was induced three days later. I am convinced that he was not ready and neither was my body. He did not come easily.

Jonathan came two and a half weeks early and came quickly. At the time, I was not sure I was in labor because it was definite pressure but not a lot of pain.

About a week and a half before Joel arrived, we made a trip to the hospital. I thought I was in labor. I was not. I was mortified - how does someone having their third child make that kind of mistake? I had the same pressure as with Jonathan so I thought I was in labor. Not so.

On Wednesday evening, 3 June 2009 around 6:30pm, I started having contractions. I wanted to make sure this was the real deal so we waited. I called the doctor and asked how long we should wait before coming. He said to check the contractions for an hour or two. Once I figured out that these contractions were the real deal, we started timing them. They were about seven minutes apart. Jamie threw the boys in the tub and hightailed it, thinking on comments from friends on facebook about how the third kid comes quickly.

Once Jamie had the boys in the tub, I hunched over my enormous stomach and hurriedly mopped the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. I had cleaned the house thoroughly, with the exception of my kitchen floor. I would feel better knowing that the house was "completely" clean.:) Since I was hunched over, I didn't know if the contractions were true to form. I figured I would be done soon enough and we would know. Jamie was timing them, so after I contracted, I would yell to him and he would check the timing device on his cell phone. After a while, I knew these were real - about three and a half minutes apart consistently. We called Jamie's parents - they were on their way. I had a hard time disguising the pain in front of the boys. Jackson was concerned. I told him that they hurt, but it was a "good hurt" and not to worry. Jack was fine with that explanation and was thrilled at the prospect of a night at Nana and Pops' house. Nana and Pops soon arrived, grabbed the boys, and then Jamie and I jumped in the car to go to the hospital.

Jamie is a relatively new facebooker. In mid-contraction in the car, Jamie took a picture of me and I burst into tears, pleading with him not to post it. I know he was fighting laughing in my face, but he promised not to show the world my contorted face. I was panicking because I feared not arriving at the hospital in time.

We checked in at the hospital around 8pm. I got hooked up to all the fluids. Most importantly, I needed an antibiotic in my system for four hours before the baby arrived. I had tested positive for Group B Strep so part of my panic was concern it would get here before I had the correct amount of antibiotic to protect the baby from contracting it from me.

The anesthesiologist came to give me my epidural. I told him that I had to have two with Jonathan because the first wore off. This time it took a while for the epidural to take and slowly began to wear off like last time. The doctor came back, asked me if I really felt pain or just pressure. I felt like an idiot, that maybe it wasn't true pain. I assured him that I did indeed feel pain, that I knew the difference between that and pressure. He gave me a second epidural (the first had already been boosted a couple of times to no avail), acting as if a were a wuss. The second one wore off as well. Around midnight of Thursday morning, I could feel the contractions all through my abdomen and back. I fought panic, wondering how far down it would continue to wear off before all numbness wore off.

Thankfully, Joel arrived at 12:42am on Thursday, 4 June 2009. I had antibiotics in my system for four hours and seven minutes so he was safe. Jamie told me we had another boy (I was convinced we were). We had a bet - I bet a boy and he bet a girl. I won cheesecake if I was right. Jamie brought me cheesecake from Brio's that night.:)

Once Joel emerged, they cleaned him up and our nurse assured us he looked fine. We looked at each other and burst into tears. After Jonathan, we knew that we were not immune from having another child with special needs. While we realized that committing to having another kid meant receiving who God gave us, we had really hoped that this one would arrive with less complications. We were so thankful and relieved that he appeared to be healthy. We had great care while we were at the hospital. The doctor who delivered Joel was the first Sunday School teacher we had as a married couple. He was very laid back and knew our history. Our nurses were WONDERFUL!!! Our stay at the hospital was like a vacation. We knew chaos would meet us at home.:)

We came home that Saturday and my parents arrived that afternoon. My dad left the next day. Mom stayed with us for a week and a half, filling in the gaps, doing laundry, fixing meals, entertaining the boys, cleaning, driving me around, going to the grocery, etc. She was wonderful! Thanks, Mom.

Jamie's mom, Betty, is now helping me out. She is entertaining Jackson and Jonathan for me and has already brought us two meals. Both she and my mom made it possible for me to be feeling good right now. I am experiencing very little fatigue thanks to them!

Jackson loves his new brother, although he had hoped for a sister.:) He loves to hold Joel, croons to him, and kisses him constantly. We compared baby pictures and with the exception of the nose, Joel appears to be a carbon copy of Jackson - Jack is so proud of this!

Jonathan seems to have understood far more than we gave him credit for. At first, Jonathan approached Joel and held his hand as if to smack Joel. Once we told him "no" very firmly, he put his hand away and proceeded as normal. He has seemed to understand that Joel is here to stay and is fine with it. I have been amazed.

Thank you for all your prayers. We feel so blessed and have been thankful for a pretty smooth transition. I thought I would never see my ankles again. They have returned along with my calves.:) Now, if my stomach would just shrink a little more quickly...:)

Julie:)

Baby Brother!

It's with great joy that we announce the arrival of our 3rd son! Born 12:42 AM, June 4. 8 lb. 9 oz., 21" long. Mom and baby are healthy and feeling great so far. The little man is eating very well and has a laid back personlity. We don't have a name just yet, but he'll be a "J" like the rest of us.

We expect to bring him home Saturday morning. Thank you all for your continued prayers for health and safety. Jackson and Jonathan are thrilled to have a little brother! God has blessed us with three precious sons... our cup runs over.

Jamie

Three Videos

Here are some videos I could not load to my original blog update...

The first one is a video of Jackson's birthday party. Jamie dressed up as Darth Vader and freaked the kids out.

The second one is a video of what Jonathan does when he doesn't want to eat something.

The last video is of Jackson beginning to ride his bike!

Darth Vader's guest appearance at Jackson's party.

Just say "no" to green beans.

Aunt Betsy taught Jackson to ride a bike this week!

Month of May Update

I cannot believe that it has been six weeks since my last post! There has been so much going on since then...

Jonathan has been sick since the middle of April with strep, pneumonia, and ear infections. I asked the doctor if, at this point, Jonathan was up for tubes again. It turns out that he was on his third or fourth infection since his tubes had fallen out so we scheduled tubes for the middle of May. However, anesthesia flagged him because he had had strep and pneumonia within the last month so they rescheduled him for June 4. We are on for this Thursday and who knows when this baby will arrive. It is due today, May 30, but is showing no signs of arriving. We are cutting it close but it is imperative that Jonathan get healthy. The poor child is sick every other week (I am not exaggerating) and we think it is affecting his behavior, not to mention our sanity.

In addition to bouts of sickness, Jonathan pulled a child's hair out of their head at school a couple of weeks ago. I was completely mortified and humiliated. I am typically on edge when I pick him up, fearful of what they may report. I am sure he picks up on this and need to watch myself. I have often wondered if his behavior is fueled by his inability to communicate. He cried for months when he figured out we were headed there and I have to ask myself, "Is he resigned to going now and acts out because he doesn't want to be there?" He receives his therapy there instead of in our home and is able to be around typical peers. It comes highly recommended but I have always felt terrible guilt for sending him. However, he has been home for the last week and a half with me and has subjected his brother to the same treatment (after I thought he was improving) so my theory may be wrong.

Jonathan's speech therapist suggested we see a behaviorist. I was telling her about not only the hair-pulling incident, but also many other things... he won't obey us on command like Jackson and he seems unphased by any punishment. He completely understands that he is disobeying and thinks it is funny. I have been through weeks (more like months) of him throwing things in the toilet, throwing away things (I am missing a sheet...), running from me when I need to change his clothes/diaper, running straight to the street when we get outside and then standing right on the border of the driveway/street smiling at me, grabbing anyone's toothbrush but his own and cramming it in his mouth before we can grab it, jumping off the furniture, hitting/scratching other kids, and so much more. I felt like a failure as a parent when she suggested that, but I immediately called around, found a behaviorist who had spoken to our PADS group months back, and lined up a consultation for that week. We met with her within a few days and had our first therapy appointment this week. She seems to think his behavior is a result of lack of communication as well as his need for attention (his therapists have labeled him as an "Attention Junkie"). This is what we have been thinking and so it was affirming to hear her say it.

Jamie and I vacillate between feeling sorry for Jonathan and feeling anger/embarrassment at his behavior. Neither Jamie nor I were perfect, but we were fairly compliant and didn't act out like this. It has been taxing mentally and we also don't want to be the parents of the bully of the class. When I have referred to Jonathan as the "DS Bully," I have not been kidding. Often, he is pleasant but if he wants attention or doesn't get his way, watch out!

The behaviorist and the speech pathologist that come to our home have given us ways to correct his behavior and help his speech that are more consistent than what we have been doing. We discipline for danger issues, do natural consequences (pack up dinner if he throws food on floor), and administer time-outs (hitting Jackson, pulling hair, etc.). I have drug my feet, not wanting to learn yet another technique for child-rearing, but am slowly coming around. I am often exhausted emotionally - not because I am pregnant so much as because I feel completely out of my league.

Then there is Jackson. He has hit an all-time high in the drama area. He cries at the drop of a hat and wants to be the center of attention as well. He takes Jonathan's behavior in stride and does well for the most part. We are so grateful for that! He dropped naps this year and I wonder if being in school all day, waking at the crack of dawn, and not taking naps is taking its toll. Quite honestly, the tips we are receiving for Jonathan have been beneficial in dealing with Jackson as well.

Last week Jackson and I went to the store together. He ran in front of me, rounded a corner, and when I found him, he was chewing. He was standing in front of the Jelly Bean display. I saw four beans on the floor. He confessed that he had eaten one. I told him that was wrong, that he had not paid for them, and he would need to be punished. He reminded me of the story I had told him of when I was little (I poured Tic Tacs in my mouth at the K-Mart counter and then put the rest back. My mom made me apologize to the manager and then I was punished at home). I reminded him that I had made a bad choice and I was punished as he would be. When I got to the counter, I explained to the clerk what had happened. I asked her to scan the beans and to tell Jackson they cost a significant amount (instead of probably the five cents it was worth). She "scanned" them and said, "That was $7.49." I asked Jackson to apologize to her for stealing. He did and then proceeded to ask me for quarters for the gum ball machine. What in the world? When we got home, Jamie and I talked. We decided to pull all Star Wars material (dress up clothes, legos, figures, ships, etc.) for a week. Jack got them back today and I think it made an impact. We hope it did...

Jack just started riding his bike the other day. Aunt Betsy came to visit this week (just left today) and after working with him outside for less than 15 minutes, Jack was riding his bike! He was so excited. We got him a scooter at Christmas and thought it would help with balance. Jackson will not be pushed in the areas of swimming or bike riding. Part of me wants him to learn NOW so I can say he did. I have learned to let him do these things at his own pace. I have learned to identify when it is me wanting to brag that he accomplished certain things and when it is actually time for him to address milestones.

As I mentioned, my sister came to visit this week. It was nice. With Jonathan staying home from his programs and church, I have not had much time to myself. She was great about pitching in and helping without me asking. I even got to leave the house alone sometimes! For someone who requires "Alone Time," this was such a blessing! She left today and I am sad because she didn't get to see the baby born. We were hoping it would come early. As it is, I feel like I am carrying it between my knees (much different than the boys!) and am amazed that it has not yet chosen to come!

Please pray for us. While we are anxiously awaiting this child, I cannot help but be reminded of our experience last time. The fact that I am 40 weeks pregnant and don't know when this child will arrive is a little difficult for me. When Jonathan arrived, he came earlier than we expected. Then we slapped on DS and heart defect. We are praying for a much less crazy delivery. Please pray for us - that we are prepared for who is to come, that we will make a seamless adjustment in our homem, for our parenting skills with the two we already have, and patience!

Thank you for your friendship. Enjoy the pictures below!

Julie

juliewarren73@charter.net

Aunt Jessica and Uncle Stephen dressed for a night out on the town.

This is Brad Hennefer, a 20-year-old young man with Down syndrome. He and

his father travel around the country with their foundation. They came as guests to

our PADS annual golf classic to play. Brad lettered in golf and basketball at his

high school. He was such an inspiration - he is a great athlete, a good speaker,

can read well, and had a great sense of humor. He told Jamie that we are having a

girl.:) Brad's claim to fame is being able to hit a 280-yard drive. We witnessed it!

Eric and Jackson at Jackson's family birthday party.

Friend, Jackson, and Doc at Jackson's family birthday party.

Sarah (had baby James on May 1), Gracie, and Doc.

Singing "Happy Birthday" to Jackson.

Granny and Emma.

Granny and Jackson.

Jackson's family party cake.

Gracie dressed up like Buzz Lightyear while the boys dressed up in Star Wars gear.

Brooke, Martha, Caroline, and Liza all came over for dinner to see India pictures

after Jamie and Forrest returned. Liza and Martha were kind to have us, Brooke,

Caroline, and David over for dinner while Jamie and Forrest were gone.

Jackson got to bring Beary Bear home from school for the weekend.

Beary Bear borrowed Jamie's iphone to send a quick text.

Beary Bear came to church with us and seemed to enjoy it!

Beary Bear made a bad choice.

Beary Bear had to sit in time out.

Jamie and our new niece, Meredith Aiken.

Eric, Emma, and Jackson at the Edgewood Spring Festival, awaiting the face

painting.

Jonathan and Pops played on the playground at the Spring Festival. It was HOT!!!

Jackson and Mommy at the Kindergarten Music Program.

Jackson, Jonathan, and Daddy at Edgewood, too.

Jackson and Daddy playing Hullaballoo.

Pops and Nana on their mission trip to Romania.

Happy Mothers' Day!

Jackson fed the lorikeets on his zoo field trip with his class. They were not very

hungry so the boys chased them around and force fed them.

Jackson is ticked that there isn't room behind us with his friends. High drama.

Jackson's classmates at the petting farm part of the zoo.

Jackson's Kindergarten class at the zoo!

Jackson at gymnastics with Mr. Brian assisting.