Three Videos

Here are some videos I could not load to my original blog update...

The first one is a video of Jackson's birthday party. Jamie dressed up as Darth Vader and freaked the kids out.

The second one is a video of what Jonathan does when he doesn't want to eat something.

The last video is of Jackson beginning to ride his bike!

Darth Vader's guest appearance at Jackson's party.

Just say "no" to green beans.

Aunt Betsy taught Jackson to ride a bike this week!

Month of May Update

I cannot believe that it has been six weeks since my last post! There has been so much going on since then...

Jonathan has been sick since the middle of April with strep, pneumonia, and ear infections. I asked the doctor if, at this point, Jonathan was up for tubes again. It turns out that he was on his third or fourth infection since his tubes had fallen out so we scheduled tubes for the middle of May. However, anesthesia flagged him because he had had strep and pneumonia within the last month so they rescheduled him for June 4. We are on for this Thursday and who knows when this baby will arrive. It is due today, May 30, but is showing no signs of arriving. We are cutting it close but it is imperative that Jonathan get healthy. The poor child is sick every other week (I am not exaggerating) and we think it is affecting his behavior, not to mention our sanity.

In addition to bouts of sickness, Jonathan pulled a child's hair out of their head at school a couple of weeks ago. I was completely mortified and humiliated. I am typically on edge when I pick him up, fearful of what they may report. I am sure he picks up on this and need to watch myself. I have often wondered if his behavior is fueled by his inability to communicate. He cried for months when he figured out we were headed there and I have to ask myself, "Is he resigned to going now and acts out because he doesn't want to be there?" He receives his therapy there instead of in our home and is able to be around typical peers. It comes highly recommended but I have always felt terrible guilt for sending him. However, he has been home for the last week and a half with me and has subjected his brother to the same treatment (after I thought he was improving) so my theory may be wrong.

Jonathan's speech therapist suggested we see a behaviorist. I was telling her about not only the hair-pulling incident, but also many other things... he won't obey us on command like Jackson and he seems unphased by any punishment. He completely understands that he is disobeying and thinks it is funny. I have been through weeks (more like months) of him throwing things in the toilet, throwing away things (I am missing a sheet...), running from me when I need to change his clothes/diaper, running straight to the street when we get outside and then standing right on the border of the driveway/street smiling at me, grabbing anyone's toothbrush but his own and cramming it in his mouth before we can grab it, jumping off the furniture, hitting/scratching other kids, and so much more. I felt like a failure as a parent when she suggested that, but I immediately called around, found a behaviorist who had spoken to our PADS group months back, and lined up a consultation for that week. We met with her within a few days and had our first therapy appointment this week. She seems to think his behavior is a result of lack of communication as well as his need for attention (his therapists have labeled him as an "Attention Junkie"). This is what we have been thinking and so it was affirming to hear her say it.

Jamie and I vacillate between feeling sorry for Jonathan and feeling anger/embarrassment at his behavior. Neither Jamie nor I were perfect, but we were fairly compliant and didn't act out like this. It has been taxing mentally and we also don't want to be the parents of the bully of the class. When I have referred to Jonathan as the "DS Bully," I have not been kidding. Often, he is pleasant but if he wants attention or doesn't get his way, watch out!

The behaviorist and the speech pathologist that come to our home have given us ways to correct his behavior and help his speech that are more consistent than what we have been doing. We discipline for danger issues, do natural consequences (pack up dinner if he throws food on floor), and administer time-outs (hitting Jackson, pulling hair, etc.). I have drug my feet, not wanting to learn yet another technique for child-rearing, but am slowly coming around. I am often exhausted emotionally - not because I am pregnant so much as because I feel completely out of my league.

Then there is Jackson. He has hit an all-time high in the drama area. He cries at the drop of a hat and wants to be the center of attention as well. He takes Jonathan's behavior in stride and does well for the most part. We are so grateful for that! He dropped naps this year and I wonder if being in school all day, waking at the crack of dawn, and not taking naps is taking its toll. Quite honestly, the tips we are receiving for Jonathan have been beneficial in dealing with Jackson as well.

Last week Jackson and I went to the store together. He ran in front of me, rounded a corner, and when I found him, he was chewing. He was standing in front of the Jelly Bean display. I saw four beans on the floor. He confessed that he had eaten one. I told him that was wrong, that he had not paid for them, and he would need to be punished. He reminded me of the story I had told him of when I was little (I poured Tic Tacs in my mouth at the K-Mart counter and then put the rest back. My mom made me apologize to the manager and then I was punished at home). I reminded him that I had made a bad choice and I was punished as he would be. When I got to the counter, I explained to the clerk what had happened. I asked her to scan the beans and to tell Jackson they cost a significant amount (instead of probably the five cents it was worth). She "scanned" them and said, "That was $7.49." I asked Jackson to apologize to her for stealing. He did and then proceeded to ask me for quarters for the gum ball machine. What in the world? When we got home, Jamie and I talked. We decided to pull all Star Wars material (dress up clothes, legos, figures, ships, etc.) for a week. Jack got them back today and I think it made an impact. We hope it did...

Jack just started riding his bike the other day. Aunt Betsy came to visit this week (just left today) and after working with him outside for less than 15 minutes, Jack was riding his bike! He was so excited. We got him a scooter at Christmas and thought it would help with balance. Jackson will not be pushed in the areas of swimming or bike riding. Part of me wants him to learn NOW so I can say he did. I have learned to let him do these things at his own pace. I have learned to identify when it is me wanting to brag that he accomplished certain things and when it is actually time for him to address milestones.

As I mentioned, my sister came to visit this week. It was nice. With Jonathan staying home from his programs and church, I have not had much time to myself. She was great about pitching in and helping without me asking. I even got to leave the house alone sometimes! For someone who requires "Alone Time," this was such a blessing! She left today and I am sad because she didn't get to see the baby born. We were hoping it would come early. As it is, I feel like I am carrying it between my knees (much different than the boys!) and am amazed that it has not yet chosen to come!

Please pray for us. While we are anxiously awaiting this child, I cannot help but be reminded of our experience last time. The fact that I am 40 weeks pregnant and don't know when this child will arrive is a little difficult for me. When Jonathan arrived, he came earlier than we expected. Then we slapped on DS and heart defect. We are praying for a much less crazy delivery. Please pray for us - that we are prepared for who is to come, that we will make a seamless adjustment in our homem, for our parenting skills with the two we already have, and patience!

Thank you for your friendship. Enjoy the pictures below!

Julie

juliewarren73@charter.net

Aunt Jessica and Uncle Stephen dressed for a night out on the town.

This is Brad Hennefer, a 20-year-old young man with Down syndrome. He and

his father travel around the country with their foundation. They came as guests to

our PADS annual golf classic to play. Brad lettered in golf and basketball at his

high school. He was such an inspiration - he is a great athlete, a good speaker,

can read well, and had a great sense of humor. He told Jamie that we are having a

girl.:) Brad's claim to fame is being able to hit a 280-yard drive. We witnessed it!

Eric and Jackson at Jackson's family birthday party.

Friend, Jackson, and Doc at Jackson's family birthday party.

Sarah (had baby James on May 1), Gracie, and Doc.

Singing "Happy Birthday" to Jackson.

Granny and Emma.

Granny and Jackson.

Jackson's family party cake.

Gracie dressed up like Buzz Lightyear while the boys dressed up in Star Wars gear.

Brooke, Martha, Caroline, and Liza all came over for dinner to see India pictures

after Jamie and Forrest returned. Liza and Martha were kind to have us, Brooke,

Caroline, and David over for dinner while Jamie and Forrest were gone.

Jackson got to bring Beary Bear home from school for the weekend.

Beary Bear borrowed Jamie's iphone to send a quick text.

Beary Bear came to church with us and seemed to enjoy it!

Beary Bear made a bad choice.

Beary Bear had to sit in time out.

Jamie and our new niece, Meredith Aiken.

Eric, Emma, and Jackson at the Edgewood Spring Festival, awaiting the face

painting.

Jonathan and Pops played on the playground at the Spring Festival. It was HOT!!!

Jackson and Mommy at the Kindergarten Music Program.

Jackson, Jonathan, and Daddy at Edgewood, too.

Jackson and Daddy playing Hullaballoo.

Pops and Nana on their mission trip to Romania.

Happy Mothers' Day!

Jackson fed the lorikeets on his zoo field trip with his class. They were not very

hungry so the boys chased them around and force fed them.

Jackson is ticked that there isn't room behind us with his friends. High drama.

Jackson's classmates at the petting farm part of the zoo.

Jackson's Kindergarten class at the zoo!

Jackson at gymnastics with Mr. Brian assisting.

Jackson and Brooks riding a camel at Jake's birthday party at the zoo.


Jackson and his friends dress up for Jackson's birthday party (Jackson told everyone it was a costume party which it was NOT).


Jackson and his friends in the treehouse.


Jackson's elaborate birthday cake made by Mom. Instead of "Happy Birthday" it says, "May the Force Be With You."

Playing with their light sabers...

We have not opened gifts at parties for fear of poor manners ("I already have that!" or forgetting to say thank you). We had extra time so we tried it. Jackson's stomach was hurting from running around so he was not super-gracious. Ugh!

Darth made an appearance...

When Darth emerged from our toolroom, Jackson attacked him immediately. Later he told us he didn't know that Jamie was Darth. He said, "I just had to defend myself.":) What?

Jackson trying on the Darth garb.

Jackson celebrated his sixth birthday on Wednesday, April 15. We cannot believe we have a six-year-old! I guess had we started earlier, we could have a kid that is 12, but still...

It has been a challenging three weeks. Jamie left for India on March 26 and returned April 3. We did well while he was gone - we stayed very busy and Jackson cried only once. Jonathan, however, was puny most of the time Jamie was gone. Initially, I thought he missed his daddy. Then, I wondered if it was something more...

Friday, April 3: We went to the doctor. Jono had an ear infection - I felt so badly! He often has recurring fever viruses every few weeks so I chalked it up to that. In my defense, he would be fine one day and not so great the next. Mother of the Year Award right here, please. He didn't seem himself every other day. There was no fever so I was not sure what was going on.

Tuesday, April 7: His stomach was ripped up from antibiotics and he would lie down on the floor and suck his thumb. He would climb on me and ask me to hold him. While I appreciated the mild behavior, I knew something was wrong. When I took him to the doctor, the culprit appeared to be the antibiotics.

Sunday evening, April 12: By the evening of Easter, he was moaning and grinding his teeth louder than I have ever heard him. I knew his ears must hurt or he was having drainage. We held him, gave him Motrin, and he fell asleep. I felt the fool calling the doctor because I didn't have anything concrete. The nurse I talked to said to just watch him.

Tuesday, April 14: Jonathan had a fever of 102.7 degrees and was no better. The doctor said to come in the next day if there was no change. Both Monday and Tuesday I found Jonathan in his crib, moaning, with tears streaming down his face. He NEVER does that and I was worried.

That evening I hurried into the kitchen to turn off the stove while Jamie bathed the boys. I stepped on a shirt in the kitchen as I rounded the corner, slipped, fell on my knees, and crunched my abdomen very hard. It scared me and I screamed (I am 33 weeks pregnant). Jamie came in and I could not stop crying. I called the doctor and couldn't get my name out I was crying so hard. Jackson got scared because he has not really seen me cry before. The doctor on call said I could come to the hospital and get checked out. I drove myself while Jamie tended to the boys. I got hooked up to a machine that monitored the baby and me. The nurse noticed I had contractions (I could not feel them) but everything looked good. She gave me something to stop the contractions and I was on my way. I had to stop by the grocery and Toys 'R' Us and then headed home.

As I pulled into the carport, the house was pitch black. I assumed Jamie fell asleep with the boys. I opened the car door. As I climbed out, I heard the click of a door and a long red light. I got a little nervous and "crept" out of the car. I saw a dark form advancing toward me and my heart took a lurch. Then I heard this heavy breathing... Ah, it was Darth Vader! Jamie had purchased this Darth Vader outfit to wear at Jackson's party the next day and he was practicing it on me. I couldn't believe he was trying to scare me after I had just fallen down! He said, "I thought you could use a good laugh after tonight's drama. " He was right!

Wednesday, April 15: Jonathan and I hit the doctor's office. He was diagnosed with strep and pneumonia. He got a big shot there in the office in his little thigh. He kept holding it and turning his little face up to me, all twisted with pain. I kept reminding myself that heart surgery was harder than this... After two hours in the doctor's office, we switched cars with Jamie and he got an inflatable for Jackson. We came home. I prepared food and Jamie got the backyard ready. We had a plan. He would disappear at 4pm into our toolroom. I would rap on the door at 4:10pm. He would rap back if he was ready.

The kids arrived at 3:30pm. They played, Jamie disappeared. When I got the go-ahead from Jamie, I clicked the play button on his ipod. It was hooked up to some speakers in the bushes and it started to play the music for Darth Vader. I had gathered the kids around and told them they had a visitor. Darth Vader emerged from the toolroom and the boys were excited and scared. Jackson started attacking Darth Vader right away. Some pulled on the costume. Every so often, Jamie would approach me and say, "Tell them to stop hitting Darth Vader" or "Tell them to stop pulling on Darth Vader's cape." It was hysterical! Eventually, they figured out it was Jamie. It was quite a day! Jamie got the Father of the Year Award that day.

Now, Jonathan is much better. Jamie put the costume on Craig's List. Jackson is enjoying his toys. I am in high gear, trying to scratch things off my dwindling "Before the Baby Arrives" Checklist. The Voelkert cousins are arriving this afternoon. Ryan is in Kenya on a mission trip today. Monday night we are excited to meet Brad Hennefer, the young man with DS who can play golf. He is in town for our PADS Annual Golf Classic.

That's all for now!!!

Julie

juliewarren73@charter.net

March 2009

It snowed here the first weekend in March.


Jackson and the snowman he, Daddy, and Jonathan made while Mommy was out of town.


Brothers in the snow. Jono didn't last long. He does not like to be cold!


Daddy and Jonathan.


Jono and Jacko after baths.


The newest addition to our family, cousin Meredith. She is Eric and Emma's little sister, third child of Ryan and Emily.


Julie and Jamie at the Guild Gala.


Jackson's yamigator - the kids had a contest at school where they made yams into things like "Indiyama Jones" and "Abrayam Lincoln." Jackson took a stab at it at home with his daddy after dinner one night. We didn't know what he was talking about until we saw the others on display at school!

Jonathan loves to type so Jonathan and Grandpa sent an email to someone together.

Grandpa and Jackson in Grandpa's office. Grandpa gave Jackson a math problem to solve that involved the concept of infinity. You can never start too early...

On the way home from Grammie and Grandpa's, we stopped in Greenville to see the cousins! Meredith was sleeping.

Jackson and his class celebrated Miss Krueger's 11th birthday (she was born on Leap Year).:)

Jamie, Spencer, and Vann soon after they landed in India.

The group eating out at a Chinese restaurant after getting some much needed rest.

Jamie having his tea one morning in Delhi.

We finished the marathon giving in second place. Thanks so much to all of you who gave - we are so grateful! We could not have done it without each and every one of you who gave and ran on behalf of Jonathan.

We have been doing a lot of "before the baby gets here" events. This month the boys and I made one last trip to SC and had a great visit with Grammie and Grandpa. I went to go see my sister, Betsy, in NC, where she is on staff with a campus ministry. We cleaned out the attic and tool room, put furniture in permanent places, had furniture painted, hung pictures, and now I am in the last stages of catching up on scrapbooking.

Jamie left Thursday for India. A guy we know from our church started a nonprofit called Never Thirst. The goal is to dig wells in other countries to provide clean water for communities of 500 over a period of 20 years. Jamie is on this trip videoing as a way to document Never Thirst and what they do. Please pray for his safety and health.

Jamie returns Friday. The boys and I have tried to stay busy to avoid thinking about the fact that Daddy is not here. We hung with Nana and Pops this weekend and that was fun. This week we have dinner plans each night along with school during the day. I am hoping it will pass quickly. If the boys aren't exhausted at night, they get teary, missing Daddy. Mommy has shed a few tears as well!

Thanks for reading!

Julie:)

juliewarren73@charter.net