The FIVE J's: August 2012

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

I would blog more often but many of our days can be very difficult with our crew and I don't want to use this as a format to complain or discourage someone else. Don't want to be a Debbie Downer, you know?
There are people on facebook lamenting the end of summer yet all I feel is relief. This summer started out relatively easy but toward the end of June the madness began, as I mentioned in my previous post. Jamie moved his office into our rental house. We moved two weeks later, he moved his business a week or two after that, and I was trying to unpack the house while dealing with kids that were no longer going to camp or being entertained. There has been a LOT of screaming and I don't know if my ears will ever be the same. I cannot figure out if it is the boys' squealing/screaming or if it is the constant change in barometric weather as we face continuous thunderstorms.
We find out this afternoon who Jackson's fourth grade teacher is. I am praying it will be a good fit and God will provide him with some friends. This is such an awkward age for him and he refuses to engage in competitive sports. The strange thing is that he is very athletic but he does not like to fail. He wants to be the best without trying. Therefore, he would rather not try at all. Jamie and I both are very competitive so we understand that, but not trying? We both would work our tails off and exhaust all our resources before giving up. We must figure out how to motivate him to shed this approach and to resolve to try - not necessarily at sports but this seems to be bleeding over in all areas of his life. It is hard to watch your kids struggle and realize it is your job to guide them when you are not quite sure where to start.
Jonathan will repeat kindergarten and have his same teacher from last year. She was gracious enough to offer, knowing he would do better in a familiar situation. I grieved for a while, wishing he would have been the kid with DS who was on grade level even if he had to work harder. I know it was wrong, but felt like it was a reflection on me - if only I had worked harder with him then he could have advanced to first grade. But, considering he barely talked and has both attention and sensory issues that make every task hard, I had to let that go. If it was just DS we were dealing with, it would be a whole different story. But, his inability to communicate clearly, his difficulty in attending, his constant struggle to remain healthy, and his sensory issues affect everything we do. Jamie and I "divide and conquer" constantly.
I envy the families that can do everything together and have fun. If it is too loud, Jonathan cannot handle it and one of us must attend to his needs to make certain he does not take away from the other two kids or other patrons. At restaurants, he refuses to eat unless he can have chips and dessert. Every meal is a fight with him and we do it at every stinking meal. I feel sorry for Jackson and Joel, at times, because their family experience is not normal. Many would say, "What is normal?" You know what I mean.
I pray Jono can learn better this year, focus more, and that he wants to learn. I hope that he makes friends and that the other students are kind to him. I pray that his aide is the best fit. I pray that his teacher continues to have unending patience and remains laid back.
Joel continues to screech and react quickly to situations. His response quickly escalates if he is not paid attention in his time frame. He still says and does very funny and sweet things. All in all, both he and Jackson are very patient with Jono but none of us has the patience of Job. Joel will go to preschool three days a week and I am hoping to have an easier year of it.
We are so very blessed and God is with us. I know it. There are situations far more difficult than ours people live with everyday. I need strength, wisdom, perseverance, and patience. I need to remember to ask Him for help because I CANNOT do this life on my own.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Summer 2012

After moving last month, we unpacked and got ready for company. Betsy, Bryan, and Hart flew here in the middle of July. They stayed for almost a week and it was wonderful having them here. I did not take pix and wish I had. They were the first to stay in our guest room so it has since been dubbed "Aunt Betsy and Uncle Bryan's room." Betsy and Bryan rolled with the chaos and were gracious about the noise.

On Thursday of that same week, Jamie and Bryan took our boys over to Jamie's parents' house. Betsy and I hosted my mom, aunt, and cousin for our second annual girls' weekend. We missed my Aunt Gail but managed to have fun. We slept in, ate out, got our nails done, watched a movie, and even had a craft Betsy brought - we made our own journals. Typing that out makes it sound corny, but it was fun.:) Many thanks to Jim, Betty, Jamie, and Bryan for helping to make that happen.

The last week of July we headed to the beach with Jamie's family. It was fun. The kids didn't want to go to the beach as much - they were content to stay inside and play or go to the pool. Jono had a tough time - there were storms that he found frightening and a pool alarm on the downstairs doors that really bothered him. His speech has really improved this summer but with that he has been able to articulate many fears - storms and darkness (even going to the movies because the lights go out) - as well as noises that simply seem to affect him significantly - banging, crying, screaming, thunder, dogs barking, etc. With his ADHD, I think he hears everything and is unable to tune it out. While I am SO GRATEFUL he is talking, I find it exhausting to listen to him constantly tell me what scares him or irritates him. The list is endless. Tonight he even said, "Mom, you don't tell me what to do." Excuse me?

This is our first week home where we aren't unpacking or readying for vacation. We will have a street yard sale next weekend and hope to purge our remaining junk. We are good about getting rid of things, in general, but this is our chance to really clean things out. I have lots of things set aside and want to pace myself. Last summer we did a sale and I stayed up way too late pricing things the night before.

It has been a long summer. June went well - it was rather cool and the boys all had things to do. We also got outside a lot. The last few weeks have been slow and either rainy or incredibly hot/humid and the boys have really gotten on each others' nerves. Jackson does well for a while with all the noise but it takes a toll on him after a while. It has been good for him to have his own room. Our street has been like a ghost town this summer, so if Jackson has not had camps to go to, it has been rather boring for him. I have tried taking them to the pool as much as possible as well as the library. I can't go to places like McWane because they run in different directions. We went to the zoo once with friends in June but the weather has not been very accommodating to entice us back during the day.

Joel continues to make us laugh. He is very dramatic - either squealing/screaming or very sweet. It seems to be one extreme or another. He told me he needed new eyes because the ones he had weren't working well (something was blocking his view of the TV). He is very complimentary, a warm greeter in the morning, and so fun. He can also scream until the cows come home if he doesn't want to eat his dinner. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

School starts for us on August 20th. I have been praying for friends for each of the boys as well as placement for them with their teachers. I often feel guilty for not homeschooling - I see other moms joining the homeschool front and think "I was a teacher - I should do that" but honestly don't want to do it. I think Jackson would do well with it and with all the noise issues Jono is developing, I wonder if he would do better at home. However, I often feel so overwhelmed that I am not ready to tackle that yet - if ever.:) I am convinced that the boys need more structure at home so I am committed to charting out chores and schedules. I am hoping that will help to guide them to be more responsible as well as have more grateful hearts. Jamie and I are both concerned about bratty, entitled behavior these days. I wouldn't mind pulling a Cosby show stunt and removing all of Jackson's belongings from his room, making him get a job to pay to get his stuff back.

That is a small picture of our June and July. Hope you enjoy the rest of your summer!

Julie:)