Saturday, May 30, 2009

Three Videos

Here are some videos I could not load to my original blog update...

The first one is a video of Jackson's birthday party. Jamie dressed up as Darth Vader and freaked the kids out.

The second one is a video of what Jonathan does when he doesn't want to eat something.

The last video is of Jackson beginning to ride his bike!

Darth Vader's guest appearance at Jackson's party.

Just say "no" to green beans.

Aunt Betsy taught Jackson to ride a bike this week!

Month of May Update

I cannot believe that it has been six weeks since my last post! There has been so much going on since then...
Jonathan has been sick since the middle of April with strep, pneumonia, and ear infections. I asked the doctor if, at this point, Jonathan was up for tubes again. It turns out that he was on his third or fourth infection since his tubes had fallen out so we scheduled tubes for the middle of May. However, anesthesia flagged him because he had had strep and pneumonia within the last month so they rescheduled him for June 4. We are on for this Thursday and who knows when this baby will arrive. It is due today, May 30, but is showing no signs of arriving. We are cutting it close but it is imperative that Jonathan get healthy. The poor child is sick every other week (I am not exaggerating) and we think it is affecting his behavior, not to mention our sanity.
In addition to bouts of sickness, Jonathan pulled a child's hair out of their head at school a couple of weeks ago. I was completely mortified and humiliated. I am typically on edge when I pick him up, fearful of what they may report. I am sure he picks up on this and need to watch myself. I have often wondered if his behavior is fueled by his inability to communicate. He cried for months when he figured out we were headed there and I have to ask myself, "Is he resigned to going now and acts out because he doesn't want to be there?" He receives his therapy there instead of in our home and is able to be around typical peers. It comes highly recommended but I have always felt terrible guilt for sending him. However, he has been home for the last week and a half with me and has subjected his brother to the same treatment (after I thought he was improving) so my theory may be wrong.
Jonathan's speech therapist suggested we see a behaviorist. I was telling her about not only the hair-pulling incident, but also many other things... he won't obey us on command like Jackson and he seems unphased by any punishment. He completely understands that he is disobeying and thinks it is funny. I have been through weeks (more like months) of him throwing things in the toilet, throwing away things (I am missing a sheet...), running from me when I need to change his clothes/diaper, running straight to the street when we get outside and then standing right on the border of the driveway/street smiling at me, grabbing anyone's toothbrush but his own and cramming it in his mouth before we can grab it, jumping off the furniture, hitting/scratching other kids, and so much more. I felt like a failure as a parent when she suggested that, but I immediately called around, found a behaviorist who had spoken to our PADS group months back, and lined up a consultation for that week. We met with her within a few days and had our first therapy appointment this week. She seems to think his behavior is a result of lack of communication as well as his need for attention (his therapists have labeled him as an "Attention Junkie"). This is what we have been thinking and so it was affirming to hear her say it.
Jamie and I vacillate between feeling sorry for Jonathan and feeling anger/embarrassment at his behavior. Neither Jamie nor I were perfect, but we were fairly compliant and didn't act out like this. It has been taxing mentally and we also don't want to be the parents of the bully of the class. When I have referred to Jonathan as the "DS Bully," I have not been kidding. Often, he is pleasant but if he wants attention or doesn't get his way, watch out!
The behaviorist and the speech pathologist that come to our home have given us ways to correct his behavior and help his speech that are more consistent than what we have been doing. We discipline for danger issues, do natural consequences (pack up dinner if he throws food on floor), and administer time-outs (hitting Jackson, pulling hair, etc.). I have drug my feet, not wanting to learn yet another technique for child-rearing, but am slowly coming around. I am often exhausted emotionally - not because I am pregnant so much as because I feel completely out of my league.
Then there is Jackson. He has hit an all-time high in the drama area. He cries at the drop of a hat and wants to be the center of attention as well. He takes Jonathan's behavior in stride and does well for the most part. We are so grateful for that! He dropped naps this year and I wonder if being in school all day, waking at the crack of dawn, and not taking naps is taking its toll. Quite honestly, the tips we are receiving for Jonathan have been beneficial in dealing with Jackson as well.
Last week Jackson and I went to the store together. He ran in front of me, rounded a corner, and when I found him, he was chewing. He was standing in front of the Jelly Bean display. I saw four beans on the floor. He confessed that he had eaten one. I told him that was wrong, that he had not paid for them, and he would need to be punished. He reminded me of the story I had told him of when I was little (I poured Tic Tacs in my mouth at the K-Mart counter and then put the rest back. My mom made me apologize to the manager and then I was punished at home). I reminded him that I had made a bad choice and I was punished as he would be. When I got to the counter, I explained to the clerk what had happened. I asked her to scan the beans and to tell Jackson they cost a significant amount (instead of probably the five cents it was worth). She "scanned" them and said, "That was $7.49." I asked Jackson to apologize to her for stealing. He did and then proceeded to ask me for quarters for the gum ball machine. What in the world? When we got home, Jamie and I talked. We decided to pull all Star Wars material (dress up clothes, legos, figures, ships, etc.) for a week. Jack got them back today and I think it made an impact. We hope it did...

Jack just started riding his bike the other day. Aunt Betsy came to visit this week (just left today) and after working with him outside for less than 15 minutes, Jack was riding his bike! He was so excited. We got him a scooter at Christmas and thought it would help with balance. Jackson will not be pushed in the areas of swimming or bike riding. Part of me wants him to learn NOW so I can say he did. I have learned to let him do these things at his own pace. I have learned to identify when it is me wanting to brag that he accomplished certain things and when it is actually time for him to address milestones.


As I mentioned, my sister came to visit this week. It was nice. With Jonathan staying home from his programs and church, I have not had much time to myself. She was great about pitching in and helping without me asking. I even got to leave the house alone sometimes! For someone who requires "Alone Time," this was such a blessing! She left today and I am sad because she didn't get to see the baby born. We were hoping it would come early. As it is, I feel like I am carrying it between my knees (much different than the boys!) and am amazed that it has not yet chosen to come!
Please pray for us. While we are anxiously awaiting this child, I cannot help but be reminded of our experience last time. The fact that I am 40 weeks pregnant and don't know when this child will arrive is a little difficult for me. When Jonathan arrived, he came earlier than we expected. Then we slapped on DS and heart defect. We are praying for a much less crazy delivery. Please pray for us - that we are prepared for who is to come, that we will make a seamless adjustment in our homem, for our parenting skills with the two we already have, and patience!
Thank you for your friendship. Enjoy the pictures below!

Julie

Aunt Jessica and Uncle Stephen dressed for a night out on the town.

This is Brad Hennefer, a 20-year-old young man with Down syndrome. He and
his father travel around the country with their foundation. They came as guests to
our PADS annual golf classic to play. Brad lettered in golf and basketball at his
high school. He was such an inspiration - he is a great athlete, a good speaker,
can read well, and had a great sense of humor. He told Jamie that we are having a
girl.:) Brad's claim to fame is being able to hit a 280-yard drive. We witnessed it!


Eric and Jackson at Jackson's family birthday party.

Friend, Jackson, and Doc at Jackson's family birthday party.

Sarah (had baby James on May 1), Gracie, and Doc.

Singing "Happy Birthday" to Jackson.

Granny and Emma.

Granny and Jackson.

Jackson's family party cake.

Gracie dressed up like Buzz Lightyear while the boys dressed up in Star Wars gear.

Brooke, Martha, Caroline, and Liza all came over for dinner to see India pictures
after Jamie and Forrest returned. Liza and Martha were kind to have us, Brooke,
Caroline, and David over for dinner while Jamie and Forrest were gone.

Jackson got to bring Beary Bear home from school for the weekend.

Beary Bear borrowed Jamie's iphone to send a quick text.

Beary Bear came to church with us and seemed to enjoy it!


Beary Bear made a bad choice.

Beary Bear had to sit in time out.

Jamie and our new niece, Meredith Aiken.

Eric, Emma, and Jackson at the Edgewood Spring Festival, awaiting the face
painting.

Jonathan and Pops played on the playground at the Spring Festival. It was HOT!!!
Jackson and Mommy at the Kindergarten Music Program.
Jackson, Jonathan, and Daddy at Edgewood, too.

Jackson and Daddy playing Hullaballoo.

Pops and Nana on their mission trip to Romania.

Happy Mothers' Day!

Jackson fed the lorikeets on his zoo field trip with his class. They were not very
hungry so the boys chased them around and force fed them.

Jackson is ticked that there isn't room behind us with his friends. High drama.
Jackson's classmates at the petting farm part of the zoo.

Jackson's Kindergarten class at the zoo!


Jackson at gymnastics with Mr. Brian assisting.